Day 7

Last day of orientation. Adia, Julia and I thought we might sing a song for the Welcome Party this evening, and we hung out with a bunch of people, singing in our room. Eventually, though, we decided that we weren't' going to sing. I sat with my advisor at dinner. Many people got up and showed things. Then, P.Orm said, "And now, from USA, Julia and Adia."

I felt so hurt. They sang "I do it for you", which is beautiful and completely about God as I really know now. They both love him, trust him, believe in him, so it makes sense they would sing it, but I still felt so left out. I don't know how to say anything about it, but I don't want to pretend it didn't happen. That's probably how it'll go. We'll see.

Now Julia's drawing Autumn. Feel left out again.

I know it is useless to feel so jealous and angry when a straight girl flirts with a boy, but I am.
Biano. Danish. Julia. I always have to look away.

After the party, I ran into a newfound friend (Meike from Belgium), who looks like Martina. I was sitting next to her when I felt homesick yesterday. Today it was just hurting her so badly. She cried ,and I hugged her, and she cried and talked to me about how here especially, we have to smile, and it doesn't feel real, and people seem to be acting. And we get here after saying goodbye to our old friends and make new friends, and tomorrow, we have to say goodbye to them, too. She was so honest, and so helpless, but stronger by the end. Eventually, I helped her to use a pay phone, and when I left, she was speaking in her own language and not in tears. I told her to breathe, and remember that "This too shall pass". I was happy she felt she could talk to me. Very happy.

This day got very complex near the end.

Tomorrow, I meet my host family.