Day 8

I am in my new bedroom. 7 hours on a train, and then my advisor, Jiska (from Germany) and I pulled into Suratthani. When I stepped out of the car, I was swarmed with people and within seconds had several lone roses and two bouquets. My father, smiling. My host brother jumping up and down, my sister shy, my mother kissing my cheek as my coordinator pressed yet another bouquet on me. My gaze met Jiska's several times, and I met the same kind of overwhelmed, half teary happiness there. My cheeks trembled with the effort of smiling.

Somehow, I made it to the car. My sister was quiet, brother bouncing, and mother trying to speak English. The car ride was difficult. I was desperate to understand, but I can't hear the difference from them speaking Thai with each other and their heavily accented and broken English. Things mostly went well. The house is beautiful, my room enormous and now everything of mine is put away. That took some will power.

After we went out to dinner and got ice cream (to which my brother after smiling in his most adorable fashion tenderly, disbelievingly holding my arm declared: "Dish-dish-deliciot!"), I came home and met their neighbors, and tried to shower (the water being cold and I didn't want to take too long). Then I came to my room. I had been holding off tears since the last hour on the train and told myself to wait until I had the comfort of a bed and pillow to let them out. Clothing putting away was fine, and then I came across a note crammed into one of my dress shoes, from my mother. They threatened to spill then, but I held it in once more. Now everything is away and I am alone, and I don't feel like I'm going to cry. It's good, I suppose, but I (as bad as it sounds) kind of looked forward to the release.

I think I will sleep...perchance to dream.

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(later)

I needn't have worried. I cried.